I had never met anyone quite like you before. You were the most charismatic and politically savvy person I have ever met. You came on strong with the complements, of how I was just the manager you needed to lead the organization in your absence. I did not have experience in all areas, and you seemed eager to talk for long periods, giving unsolicited advice. I tried to ignore how uncomfortable I felt when I would hear from the employees that had been there longer, how much they had worked, and how little appreciation they were given. How the relationships were strained. You would mention other things that would make me pause: bragging about pitting your employees against each other, how someone who was obviously suffering from mistreatment and overwork was no longer predictable, saying you would tell me everything (after you had not) that sounded like what a guy in the bar would say to a woman he wanted to take home. Growing up with a narcissistic mother, I felt all the red flags, but knew I was going to get bonded to you as much as I tried not to. All my efforts to put up boundaries were blown by – calling and talking to me for hours a day even after I asked you to stop, ignoring my requests for support when my team and I were overwhelmed, requesting training and denied, asking that I be kept in the loop on the items I supposedly owned which you lied that you would. I noticed you would change based on who you talked to, who was in power, so I never trusted you. But I fell hard into the charm, as much as I did not want to. I never had someone call and talk to me more than you did. It was addicting. I knew I needed to get away, and I knew it would be painful, based on what I saw when others tried to get away. My job was my identity, my confidence teetering when it did not go well. You read this and manipulated me, used me. You told me you overloaded me on purpose (while telling me who your next target would be), you would gaslight me at the same time you were sabotaging me and stabbing me in the back. You would say that I was not good at relationships, while you were undermining me in those relationships, I would later find out. Once I got the nerve to tell someone (that I had known for over a decade) what emotional abuse I was going through, you even poisoned that well by charming them into thinking I was lying, you blackmailed me by saying you were going to “get rid of me” but I couldn’t say anything about my burned-out state – using shame to manipulate me. Once I was trying to leave, and it was going to affect your career, you would go back and forth with wanting me to stay and casting me off to the side in a strange sociopathic dance. When I just did not care anymore, you had no need for me. Your efforts to break me worked, I was beaten down to shell of myself. My only request, when you told me you were going to lie about my performance (it is for my “development”) and get rid of me after telling me you used me, was to get me a job that was a career-track position. I was determined to make you look like the asshole fool you are. I knew this trick from my childhood when my family of origin made me look crazy to hide their abuse, but I was determined to push past it and be successful, picking myself up as I was tripped. I pushed through my extreme burnout to show your boss that I could do some of the things that you were smearing me about, that I could be successful with relationships. I told him all the tasks I was doing for the first time, even while being yelled at by my boss. I did not tell him about the abuse since my boss would find out and intimidate me and bully me more. I was out sick for a month while they were planning my move and it showed everyone what they were going to be in for once I left. I returned to the question are you sure you want to move? All these mind games were exhausting, I knew I was stalling my career, but I could not be a part of the organization any longer. I wanted to leave, but when you told me what job it was going to be days before I was supposed to move, it was the exact job I had asked not to have. I was livid and started to tell people the things that were going on, which made you more abusive, since I could no longer be controlled. You yelled at me, “you contribute nothing,” and then later apologized, saying that I had done everything he had asked of me. The relationship was the most toxic relationship I have ever had. I moved to this new job within the organization that I really did not want. They were never able to backfill me, even after piecemealing my job into five different roles, even with asking every eligible leader, including one that had previously worked for you and had left pissed off as well. No one wanted that beating and my boss had burned too many bridges. I started my new job, crying at my desk for the first two weeks, being told that I looked really beat down. I was told that I would be in that job for 6 months by your boss before there was movement, so I decided to show my old boss up again. When I left, you were trying to smear me by saying we had not prioritized some metrics, when in fact we were overloaded. The new program I was on had a similar problem, I got them to meet goal within a few months after not meeting goal in years. You were still blaming others for your lack of meeting the goal. Then a lateral position opened up within the program, I thought finally the role that I have been waiting for. I went to talk to the new Director, and he seemed confused, my new boss had also seemed confused when I asked about the next role I had been promised. Then it really sank in how much I had been used, just taken advantage of during a pandemic – traveling, going into work, while others benefited from hybrid or work from home arrangements. You stayed home unless there was a boondoggle where rubbing shoulders with others would work out to your benefit, while you had no idea that I had zero experience in many of the areas you had dumped on me. Never again will I let someone take advantage of me like you did. I now do my job only and do not worry about picking up the pieces of others’ messes. I am worth more than disrespect and crumbs. I am worth being unemployed rather than being emotionally abused again. You ended up leaving the function as well, not getting what you wanted either, a new position, so here we are. Character always catches up in the end.