I’m starting to feel like I’m in some sort of toxic whirlwind. No matter how much I work, how much responsibility I take on and how much I do what is asked of me, Mr. Boss will only be happy with more.

“I overloaded you with work on purpose because you are such a people pleaser.  I’m also going to do it to Amanda because she is as well,” Mr. Boss told me as a requested reprieve from my overbearing workload.  I’m sitting here with a sociopath, I finally decide.  I started thinking about all my responsibilities that require money and a job and became despondent, I can’t quit.  Really my ego would take the biggest hit, I soon discovered, and that is probably the root cause of why my boss is abusing me.

“Hey, would you travel to cover this test?” Mr. Boss asks me for another favor.  I politely decline for the first time ever.  Mr. Boss goes into a rage, yelling at me, “everything is all about you, isn’t it.”  Why yes, yes it is, thank you for noticing finally.  Somehow another poor soul gets conn’d into it, it is refreshing to know I am not that person anymore.

“Everyone here is a bully and an asshole,” I tell a colleague which somehow makes it back to Mr. Boss.  Mr. Boss calls me within a few hours of the conversation, “Are you ok?  I’ll get you moved, and it will be for your development,” his less than covert threat.  I stay silent for a second, recognizing the manipulation, and deciding this may be my way out. My silence must unnerve him, “I cannot predict your reactions and it makes me not trust you,” he says. I don’t take the bait, “You better get me a job that is a real role, not a patched together job that leads nowhere,” I tell him. Inside, my heart is racing, he continues to intimidate me, and my panic attacks increase in frequency.

Shot himself in the foot, that’s what he did.  It is interesting that all the things he refused to train me on for my development came out after he got the wheels moving for me to move.  Who is going to backfill him for his career progression?  There doesn’t appear to be too many takers for abuse. “I did this for you!” he would yell at the end, when all the truth came out, especially since I was not the first or the last.  Isn’t it interesting how we can all be victims?